my life;

2011-07-29T22:59:00.002+08:00

没想到我还是会在意。

kind of spoil my day. but at least i understand it isn't the same anymore.

那個男人-楊宗緯

有個男人愛著你用心愛著你
那個男人愛著你徹底愛著你
他情願變成影子守候著你跟隨著你
那個男人愛著你心卻在哭泣

還需要多久多長多傷
你才會聽見他沒說的話
堅強像謊言一樣不過是一種偽裝
他只希望有個機會能被你愛上

還需要多久多長多渴望
你才會走向他貼在他的身旁
微笑像謊言一樣是最起碼的假裝
眼淚只能躲藏

那個男人愛著你忘記了自己
從此他小心翼翼靜靜等待愛情
他情願選擇相信為了你不言不語
那個男人愛著你傷埋在回憶

不論要多久多長多傷
他還是愛著你一如往常
就好像一個傻瓜對著那空氣說話
他會不會有個機會能被你愛上

還需要多久多長多渴望
你才會走向他貼在他的身旁
微笑像謊言一樣是最起碼的假裝
眼淚只能躲藏

那個男人就是我你知道嗎
還是知道卻假裝不知道嗎
問到沙啞
你也不會
回答

還需要多久多長多傷
你才會聽見我沒說的話
堅強像謊言一樣不過是一種偽裝
我只希望有個機會能被你愛上

不論要多久多長多受傷
我還是愛著你每分每秒一樣
就好像一個傻瓜對著那空氣說話
等著被你愛上

2011-06-01T02:00:00.002+08:00

how amazing it can be...that while you are currently rushing over proposal deadlines and greatly lacking of sleep, you wondered off to his fb and her blog, and suddenly what seems to have been deeply buried in your heart surfaced once again like as if it happen just only ystd. I thought it had been over for years and i should have recovered fully by now. But i guess no matter how things may have changed or how many years may have passed, it will always remains somehow an impact, for your heart could not forget how painful it once had been.

i am not trying to say that i have not forgiven. No. I have long forgiven and let go. But i guess i could never forget.

2011-02-25T16:57:00.003+08:00

thank you so much, for you are the very first who considers me as special in your heart. Thank you as well, for always making me feel loved and cared. But i am really sorry.. for not being able to return you anything, for time and fate does not bring us together at the moment. I hope you could move on, for it makes me feel really bad if i continue to impede you...I am totally helpless, for i do not know what i can do more to reduce your pain ..and it hurts me to hurt you as well:/

2011-02-02T02:16:00.000+08:00

《她说》
曲：林俊杰
词：孙燕姿

她静悄悄的来过，她慢慢带走沉默
只是最后的承诺，还是没有带走了寂寞...

我们爱的没有错，只是美丽的独秀，太折磨...
她说无所谓，只要能在夜里翻来覆去的时候有寄托...

等不到天黑，烟火不会太完美。
回忆烧成灰，还是等不到结尾。
她曾说的无所谓，我怕一天一天被摧毁...
等不到天黑，不敢凋谢的花蕾，雨也在跟随，翻开刺痛的滋味。

今后不再怕天明，我想只是害怕清醒...
不怕天明，我想只是害怕清醒

2011-01-10T00:16:00.002+08:00

Random enough, i went to visit someone's blog. It's been quite some time already since the last time i have visited it. Well, i 've read some recent posts and realises some people really changes. They grow up and understand certain things better. Or maybe, in another perspective, they have been the same all the while, it was just that i never got to know that side of them...unfortunately. Nevertheless, it is good that people progress on..they progress, she progress..or maybe he also have progress...one day i hope i do as well(:

2011-01-04T02:04:00.003+08:00

This is what happens when my com lags and i am in the midst of rotting:

(FYI, the status of my com lagging means that i cant play games,watch videos or play music. Everything become slowwww...)

1. FACEBOOK

- Ultimately i would have went through most of the recent statuses and if there is nothing interesting..i would close the page.

2. TUMBLR

- hohoho. My favourite thing to do everyday:searching and tumbling beautiful photos:D I love to look at beautiful tumblr blogs and reblog whatever picture that catches my eye(: I can spamm from day to night. However, i believe things should have a limit..I will stop when i feel that i reblog too much.

3.MANGA

- Without tumblr and fb, i will visit familiar manga sites and check out new manga releases. Maybe i am too up to date (LOL) ..there is only 1-2 new chapters i can read per day. At times, there can be NONE.

4.BLOGGER?

- i dun really blog these days. Those who still happens to read this here should know:P and yes that is my last resort and so here i am:D Now you should understand the reason i am here writing this random stuff. RAWRRR.

Great, now i am done with blogging. And then.....????

2011-01-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

i just can't stop comparing. And the more i do that, the more flaws i can find. Yet foolish enough, i pretend nothing had happen and everything is alright. Why am i asking for so much yet at the same time unable to face what seems to be the truth?

maybe that was the very mistake i made long ago. I just hope the outcome wun turn out to be the same again...

2010-12-21T23:44:00.003+08:00

Exams results were out today and surprisingly some modules i did unexpectedly well. haha. Well the most important is still the fact the i passed the prerequisite for PL1101E! woots! i am glad that ppl around me all did so too. Jasmine and elizabath can officially declare major alr somemore! grats to all!♥ For now one semester have passed, and i am one step closer to my dream as well. Yeah believing really works. Believing in yourself. Believing you can do it. CREDO POTEST(:

2010-12-06T23:12:00.001+08:00

rah tumblr is down and i rotted for the whole day. and now i am complaining at blogger. LOL. so ironic.

2010-12-04T22:15:00.003+08:00

omg it has been nearly a month since my last blog post! Worse off, i was motivated to blog today only because after reading through some blogs, otherwise maybe this blog will still be abandoned till some very other day.lols.

Well i am glad to announce that this school semester had come to an end and my exams were over! woots! I kinda sympathize the NTU students who are still mugging hard right now for their upcoming exams in mid dec and they only get to end their exams somewhere near Christmas :x But jiayous friends! It will be over soon!(: Life is much much slow paced for me right now. I get the time to rot as well as the opportunity to reorganize my life (and my messy room lol) Hmm, i decided not to take up a full time temporary job this holiday as i hope to relax this time round before getting ready for another chionging and mugging semester(: I understand that i am not well off and a job will definitely benefit me..yet i reasoned that getting myself tired will not be very helpful to my body and mind. Maybe i am getting old, it seems like i am placing greater emphasis on my health:P well hopefully it is the right choice i have make(:

2010-11-08T01:57:00.004+08:00

tonight is just one of those moments again.

Just awhile ago i decided to visit a blog that i once posted on. Dun bother finding it because it is private. It has been nearly a year since i last visited it. Looking back on these memories isn't something easy in the past, and i guess it may be the same even till now.

But no worries, i am moving on. always been trying.

"SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2009

可能我们都累了。
早已不知道怎么去自然地面对方，逐渐地忘记给予彼此的种种承诺
似乎唯一还明显地存在着的，是怨恨和悲伤。
选着逃避问题的我们，已没有资格去怨念或是责怪任何人。
因为到最后一刻也不去补救的，是自己。

2010-10-29T01:22:00.001+08:00

to all my dear friends (including myself):

jiayous in whatever you are struggling with now!(:

2010-10-25T15:53:00.001+08:00

DIARRHOEA DIARRHOEA GO AWAY, BUT DUN COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY ~

bad timing for diarrhoea:x

2010-10-24T23:55:00.004+08:00

sometimes, yeah sometimes, you cant help but be more selfish. And you wonder, why aren't people realising your effort and worth, and all they can see is that everything you have put in is not enough?

but at the same time, you should feel shameful to complain all that because (You might not have realise it) you are just as similar as these people.

2010-10-24T20:50:00.001+08:00

maybe i am slow but i just found out that blogger change their login home page. LIKE FINALLY LOLL(:

anyway i watched this today. the boy is just too good! i wanna learn this dance too but i guess my hands might break by then.lol.

2010-10-18T12:04:00.003+08:00

I am in the midst of drafting one of my assignments right now in the school library. i am taking a break but as usual, it seems like i always take far too many breaks:P

Just gotten some mid term paper results back last week. Both good and bad i can say. But i guess everything boils down to the matter of complacency. Bad because of complacency till now, and good so there is the fear of complacency later. It is indeed difficult for me to fully eradicate my procrastination tendency. But i guess i will try my best..coz i really do not wish to regret later. So yup, off i go to continue my assignment!(:

2010-10-13T14:16:00.001+08:00

chanced by this lovely song at some tumblr blog ystd(:

2010-10-12T02:15:00.003+08:00

"the night is long" --> seriously i dun feel it this way right now. lols

been trying to mug english but it seems like i am taking unlimited times of breaks. There is still many practices to go before i am convinced i will be confident for the test..yet i am revolving around tumblr, fb, blog hopping all the time. My brain doesnt seem to process well of the fact that i need to sleep and wasting time like this is going to eat up my sleep gradually away. And here i am now blogging instead of studying. LOL.... AND RAHH.

2010-10-11T01:32:00.003+08:00

i am back!

hahas i did not mean by travelling to anywhere far and just returned literally. Instead, i am actually referring to myself being back in blogger(: it has been two weeks since i have last posted here..looks like i will never get to fulfill my goal of maintaining this blog with more regular and frequent posts:p Truthfully, it can be really difficult at times to find both inspiration and motivation concurrently to spur me up to switch on my laptop and start blogging. However, i have yet no intention to give up this blog at the moment. i do not bear to abandon this 5 yr old friend who have accompanied me all the while as i grew and matured(:

Life is as usual--busy with readings and tonnes of assignments,tutorials left undone. But i was rather glad that it was art's e-learning week for the past 7 days. Some tutorials and lectures were cancelled while others carried on with online webcasts and forum discussions. It have created some time for me to slow down my pace and take a rest (and yes...go shopping and play:P) Even though in the end i believed that i have rested more than what i should have..at least it has helped me to relieve those stress accumulated over the past few weeks. Yet sway enough, the week ended with me lying on my bed coughing and sneezing like nobody's business:x i have kinda recovered after ample rest yesterday but looks like my cough may last awhile..

btw i have created a new tumblr website! gosh it can really be addictive especially when you follow many great tumblr blogs that post beautiful pictures every day:D:D sometimes, looking at those pictures really givesme an urge to buy a good camera and learn some professional photography:P check out my tumblr at my fb page!(:

2010-09-25T00:43:00.002+08:00

studying psychology really reminds me of those terrible days when i needed to mug bio. LOL. neverthless both are still my favourites(:

i guess i am really drained after reading all the drugs info. they are really boring and drryyyyy~ i cant help but salute to all medicine and pharmacy degree holders(: And truthfully speaking, even though i have spent quite a substantial amount of time reading it, i dun think i have actually absorbed them in detail:x well, perhaps i will review that section again on the test day itself.. i really have no keen in looking at it again right now:P

i am kinda sick of studying psych now..perhaps it is time to change to social work(: jiayous jieying and jiayous to all who share the same fate as me (:

2010-09-24T01:56:00.004+08:00

i will like to clarify beforehand that i no longer crushes on fahrenheit like how i did some years ago. Nevertheless, (just a opinion)WU ZUN IS STILL SO HOT. LOL. (that is the main reason why i posted this mv and song:P)

心疼妳的心疼

總是在夜深人靜想一個人
妳留給我的回憶映著月光更深刻
如果說後悔可以殺一個人
我已經為妳死掉多少次了呢

妳的淚痕妳默默忍耐過的寒冷
我現在才懂得

心疼妳的心疼想緊緊把妳抱著
去彌補從前所有不完整
讓我讓妳快樂為妳的微笑負責
承諾過的未來還在等等我們的愛重生

時間是一道不能反轉的門
那時的年少輕狂如今想來多殘忍
只不過這個世上沒有一本
能夠教我們如何相愛的手冊

再也不會讓妳受傷了
我已完全明白愛能教人心多疼
這次換我等換我為妳犧牲
讓我守護著妳跟我一起走過時間的河

2010-09-19T22:27:00.003+08:00

i am now in a very bad mood:x very angry...angry at myself:x

i guess it is time to be assertive, and not to be nice to myself. All reasons are or will just be excuses.

CREDO POTEST

2010-09-16T16:05:00.002+08:00

I know this shouldn't be what ideally i should be doing right now but i just can't seem to stop this impulse from tempting me to take a blogging break from my mugging on singapore studies module test that is going to take place in less than 2 hours time:p

Well all i wanna say is quite rubbish and random:p it just so happened that i was just studying at the studying corner at the central library when i decided to take a walk down to the borrowing section to explore on their collection of psychology books. Moreover, i am also intending to borrow some books tmr if i can find any that comes to be useful in my mid term assignment which relates to the topic of intelligence. It was then that i realised that GOSH, CENTRAL LIBRARY HAVE SO MANY PSYCHOLOGY BOOKS THAT IS AVAILABLE FOR BORROWING! hahas the collection really kinda excites me because i didnt know that the availability of the collection will be this great. I guess this is partly becoz nlb have left me with a deep impression that the psychology books that can be borrowed are all either Carl Jung or Sigmund Freud's theory books and all the others seem to fall under the reference section . It took me pains previously to find even something like "Introduction to Psychology" in the adult borrowing section without words like "psychoanalysis" , "freud", "unconscious" following after. And now it seems like there is no need for the trouble to go all the way to nlb anymore(:

But ironic enough, i still have tonnes of workload (esp in psychology) that i will need to settle before i can start exploring the collection:x Uni life isn't as easy as i have expected and so i will have to work extra hard(: Looks like i may need to wait till the holidays before i have time to read any of those books...

2010-09-12T02:13:00.004+08:00

THIS IS TAN JIE YING(: (jasmine was the one standing behind me btw)

random:

i felt too paiseh to post this as my fb profile pic but i just wanna post it somewhere. So here it is:P

2010-09-05T01:24:00.002+08:00

Do you believe that miracles will happen?
I do not think so if you do not believe in it in the first place.
Yet ironic enough, isn't the fear of getting those false hopes the very root cause of your disbelief?

Perhaps i am just following my basic human instincts- self-protection.

Or simply said, i am just being too selfish.

2010-08-14T01:06:00.003+08:00

I have been listening to many english songs recently. All thanks to my newly found part time job where i get to listen to Class 95FM for the whole period of my work time(: I encountered this classic song during my last shift and i love it. In fact, i have never actually stop loving it since i first listened to it abt a year ago. I couldn't remember if i have shared it here before..nevertheless i think it is worth my time to post it again(:

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

2010-08-08T23:15:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, reading people's blogs can be quite a interesting hobby to do whenever you have some time to spare.

Putting aside the stalking factor, reading blogs can actually allow you to stay more connected with your friends, especially those whom you have not been catching up with for quite some time. You get to know what they have been doing lately, the new friends they have made and which university and faculty they have enrolled in etc etc.

Moreover, you get to explore their interesting random comments/observations about anything or everything that is happening in their daily lives, or get to feel what they have been feeling or emo-ing about.

And perhaps just to add on, if you have friends who like to blog about lyrics and songs, you will get yourself many good recommendations to add on to the songlist in your ipod or mp3.

So, for those who will get a lil sick of fb or twitter once in a while (that's me:p), you might want to take a short break and switch to blog hopping(:

2010-08-08T16:15:00.003+08:00

And and and and and I AM BACK FROM ARTS O WEEK! (Yeah man!:D )

Oh man arts o week was definitely another week full of harmful sun rays, dirty crazy games and sleepless nights. However, it was nevertheless another week which i got to know many faculty mates and buddies, attended many HTHT sessions and ki siao while doing all the funny cheers to support my house and arts rag(: Overall it was rather fun, especially during the last few days of the week when all of us seemed to have known each other better and we became more bonded and participative. Truthfully, if the dynamics wasn't that great, i would not have enjoyed as much(: Great job done AGNES!(: (my og name) And of course never to forget my overall house A House! I heard from many seniors that A House seemed to be doing much better this year compared to the past. Hope our effort have made a difference in your hearts!(:

Pardon me i am unable to show any photos here right now:x but hopefully my fb will be filled with those photos soon!(:

2010-08-01T23:51:00.002+08:00

I guess i am too comfortable being stucked in this phase where i cant seem to move on. I always seem to able to find reasons out of nowhere to support my stand..but i could not throw away those fears and insecurities that seem inherent in my line of thoughts ever since that happened. And because of me, everybody gets hurt. Irony isn't it...while protecting myself, i hurt those dear ones around me..and i end up feeling even worse abt it.

However, i cant seem to find a solution myself..

2010-07-13T19:10:00.002+08:00

lols i am getting hit on by this very random movie craze these days. I do not know why but all the movies showing in the theatres now seem very interesting to me out of a sudden. And wells, i have fell into the trap by starting on with Eclipse last week. I have a gut feeling that i will watch Despicable Me soon..(the trailer is just too cute HAHA) :P

2010-07-02T00:05:00.002+08:00

when you hit yourself into a transparent glass door because somehow you pathetically thought that it wasn't there for that instance, (moreover if you uses the door every single day) it means you need some rest.

and yupp! i am going to rest right now:P:P i have knocked off today at the latest timing i ever had and going to punch in tmr morning at the earliest timing i am going to have. But i shant dwell on it and made myself tired emotionally anymore(: Fortunately, i have gotten over the lowest point and now back to being positive! LOL perhaps i am really fated to do saikang, no matter if it is in school, at home or at work :D i have found a new motto for the past few weeks and the more to go: CREDO POTEST(: believe believe and believe(:

jiayou!

2010-06-30T23:42:00.002+08:00

today wasn't a very good day again:/ but nevertheless i shant give up. it is a good way to stretch myself to further limits. Well,i shall buck up and pull through it!(: jiayous jiayous!(:

2010-06-28T00:21:00.003+08:00

These few days wasn't really good. Please pardon me as i dun feel like elaborating it now :P

But in all, thank you to all my dear friends who have shown care and concern to me through tags, smses and msn(: Your words of support and encouragement were greatly appreciated(: At the same time, really so sorry and paiseh to those who tried to accompany me yet my temper went loose and treated you badly instead:x I shouldn't vent out my unhappiness on the innocent:x

In addition, after some self introspection, i realise that i am becoming more realistic and pessimistic as i progress further into the world of adults and reality:/ These characteristics surfaced rather obviously this year. i felt kinda sad that i have become like this ..However, i guess a certain level of this change is good for me to adapt well enough into the society. Thus, i do accept it as well. I know it is ironic and conflicting..even i could not really figure out my stand. But no matter how i change in the years to come, i am determined to remain a portion of my optimism and innocence untouched, for they are my true origins and the ones that have been teaching me how to appreciate life(:

2010-06-22T09:40:00.000+08:00

i am a little tired:/

2010-06-14T00:07:00.003+08:00

i am attracted to the tune of this song since long ago. However, i never exactly understood the lyrics then. It was only until today that i figured out what the lyrics really meant through 小寒's blog post. This made me admire 小寒 even more(:　It is really amazing how she is so capable of making such observations and theories in modern life and love and phrase them in such artistic way.

recommended(: The blog post can be viewed here :
http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/118075282.html

曲/小寒
詞/蔡健雅

我確實說我這樣說
我不在乎結果
我對你說我有把握
成功例子好多

人們虛假又造作
總愛得不溫不火
我們用真心就不會有差錯
我沒想過我會難過
你竟然離開我

愛沿著拋物線
離幸福總降落得差一點
流著血心跳卻不曾被心痛削滅
真真切切

青春的拋物線
把未來始於相遇的地點
至高後才了解
世上月圓月缺只是錯覺

我好想說我只想說
我不要這後果
可是你說相對來說
走開是種解脫

當初親密的動作
變成當下的閃躲
感情的過程出了什麼差錯
我沒想過我會難過
你終於離開我

2010-06-11T10:24:00.003+08:00

gosh, FMA manga ended with a 100page long of last chapeter 108. Felt kinda sad after i finished the manga:x Perhaps coz i have at least been kinda following it for a year already. i wonder how i will feel if Detective Conan is going to end since i have been following it from 9 yeers old.lols.

2010-06-09T11:27:00.003+08:00

It is usually good to have a vision, an aim or a goal in mind to pursue.

But sometimes, i find myself being too eager to reach the end point and see the result. I tend to get impatient, and consequently problems always seem to arise in the very early stages. When troublesome issues surface and i cannot handle it, i will lose interest easily and procrastinate. I guess this characteristic is one of the attributes of an Arien. Ariens are an innovative, enthusiastic bunch of people who like to kick the headstart to everything that seems to them interesting but they will hardly persevere to the end.(pardon me, i am getting very astrological these days:P) This can be quite bothering when it comes to dealing with very important aims and goals in my life. For now, i am beginning to see symptoms of impatience in myself in my journey of pursuing my dream career. It seems like i might have plan way too ahead and yearning to embark on too many different plans when i have not even enter uni yet:x Some things will need to be done but not all at once now. I just hope i will not make the same mistake that i did few years ago - thinking that i have 36 hours a day.

Some adults and friends have advised me to take one step at a time, especially so when i am dealing with important goals such as my dream career. It is indeed hard for me to follow:P Nevertheless i believe it should be the correct thing to do right now(:

2010-06-04T10:37:00.003+08:00

i was once really interested in astrology, so obsessed with it till i went to the library and borrowed thick astology books to read. But i barely absorbed much since i was just 12/13 years old then:P But i could still remember how i used wangling's astrology book to calculate my ascendant, moon sign and other planets. It was a pity that i couldn't remember everything but only my sun sign, ascendant and mercury sign. I was bored today and went online to search awhile abt this and see what i found:

http://www.starslikeyou.com.au/star-files/ascendant/virgo.php

This is my ascendant btw. The website will explain what ascendant means itself. And close friends of mine will understand that this is so true of me.(but not extreme okay) LOL.

2010-06-03T16:46:00.005+08:00

i had a dream today. It left me in thought for awhile after i woke up. It isn't the first time that i am dreaming this and i know it will never ever happen in the reality. However, what is different about today's dream is that even while i was dreaming, i knew it isn't the reality. I thought i was acting in a show etc etc.

I have not understood fully Freud's dream theory, about how dreams can reveal your unconscious desires and so on. Thus, i shall not over-analyse the dream but to handle it in simpler and superficial terms. Things and thoughts have changed over the months and i guess dreams change with the flow as well. Perhaps, one day, i will never get to encounter such kind of dreams anymore....well i hope.

2010-06-02T00:08:00.003+08:00

谢谢你的温柔。

I can't imagine how i will feel and survive 1 year plus later. and i cant stop myself from worrying about that now and then. paronoid, coward but yes. Since i cant seem to find enough courage to progress further, perhaps it might be better for you to move on, without a coward like me.

2010-05-31T23:14:00.002+08:00

it is such a small small world(:

I went to ngee ann polytechnic today in the afternoon to collect some payment from a church client that i have been dealing with. It was rather surprising to me when i met her face to face because that was when i realised that she so happens to be my st nicks junior! In fact, this wasn't the first time i encountered such occurence. A week ago, i met xilei's and xinni's classmate when i was collecting payment for another church client. Well, I guess it is really interesting that we get to experience more and more of these coincidences as we grow older and older and our social circle become bigger and bigger(: i believe many might have experienced the same thing as me at a certain part of your life. If you don't, then perhaps you can try walking around bugis or orchard area for 2-4 hours.(for girls only maybe LOL) Try to count the number of familiar faces you will see:D

2010-05-29T00:58:00.002+08:00

hahhas i was listening to yes 933's 夜完场之因为很爱演 by peifen and nat ho. LOL damn funny! love peifen's show(:

2010-05-27T22:44:00.003+08:00

i believe i am someone who can't write when i do not have the mood to write. But i guess i am not really special, since i know ppl who are like this as well.

One pretty good example(i believe) to illustrate this point will be about blogging. It is common that people do not blog everyday, and i guess one of the many reasons might be because there do not have the mood to talk about anything sometimes(even if you have tonnes to talk about). Some famous bloggers blogged everyday, and truthfully i kinda admire this ability of theirs. They are able to talk about almost anything on their blogs and you hardly see them post short drafts. Personally if i do not have the mood to talk about something, i will take hours to draft the post, edit the post and in the end, it might stil turn out to be some trash:x haha this is exactly what i have experienced few minutes ago when i was trying my best to post some topic about uni acceptance. it was then when i started to give up , reopen a new page again and begin to crap abt all these, merely in less than ten minutes.

And now i am losing my "feel" to type again. I am not really a perfectionist but i guess it might be time to find ways to prolong this "feel" of mine. Otherwise, my blog might end up having more drafts than the posts itself soon:P will reading and writing more often works? hmm.

Btw, i might continue to work on the draft abt the uni acceptance, some day.

2010-05-24T00:15:00.004+08:00

http://notesaboutyouandme.blogspot.com/

what i am feeling now seems to be beyond my capability of description. However, this blog never fails to make my heart wrench and my eyes wet whenever i am feeling lost or down.

i am deeply touched by this boy. And he often made me feel that, one's love can be that great and strong.

i love to cry too much.

love and felt sad about your may 1st post.

2010-05-20T00:50:00.002+08:00

i really wanna blog about something yesterday. There are certain stuffs and feelings i wanna convey, yet for the whole night i found it difficult to convert those feelings into words. Hence, all i did was to constantly refresh my blog , hopping for some post to pop out by itself. LOL.

2010-05-18T12:28:00.002+08:00

"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile." -unknown

Dedicated to all my precious friends who are suffering/stuck/lost at this certain point in time. Let us embrace the pain and burn it as a fuel for our journey.

2010-05-17T14:44:00.007+08:00

i miss those days when i needed to stay up the whole night to do last minute mugging and survived without a wink of sleep.

lols i believe some might doubt the credibility of the above sentence. However i assure all that i am in a normal state right now and there is no typing error:D Yes, I actually miss those times as surviving such nights meant i was "young" and "healthy" enough.

Haha take note that i have used past tense to describe the state i was in. The obvious reason will be that i am no longer that "young" and "healthy" anymore. I guess i have not been taking really good care of my body :x I have overestimated myself and been screwing up body clock now and then:P Burning midnight oil have been frequent since secondary school due to my old habit of procrastination. In the past, i was still quite proud that i can tahan for many nights without much sleep during the exam periods. But now, my body feel like a 70 year old today because i slept very late the day before:/

I guess it is really time to be more disciplined and not screwing up my body clock that frequent again. If not i might feel even older next time...LOL

2010-05-15T02:24:00.000+08:00

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

2010-05-11T14:46:00.003+08:00

it is rather amazing when you happen to find out that some friend of yours know another friend of yours when you chanced through their fb profile or photos (chanced not stalked :P)

An even more interesting phenomenon noted will be that the "another friend of yours" is surprisingly a primary school friend that you have not met or talked for years. Through her fb profile, you realise how much she have changed after all these years and which jc/poly she ended up at. At the same time, you hesitated to add her as a fb friend because you doubt that she still remembers you after a decade.

lols coincidentally, this is something jieying have encountered this afternoon(:

2010-05-10T22:39:00.004+08:00

pictures speak a thousand words(:

(simply put: i am just lazy to type today lols:p)

2010-05-09T13:47:00.002+08:00

it might have been the truth all along.

But with those excuses, i denied the fact and tried to believe in what i wanted to believe.
Perhaps that is the main reason that always makes me cry, because i always get to see the truth, hear the truth.

I guess it is time to change my thinkings and accept the fact. Maybe this is what you always hope i will understand..

the fact that i never seemed to have appeared in your life before.

I have long forgiven, but will never forget.

2010-05-04T20:53:00.002+08:00

i was really bored today and randomly enough, i found myself rather tempted to create a twitter account. lols. But well, i reckoned that i have created far too many accounts in various forums and websites and one more might just be another additonal account that i do not use or manage. So, believe it or not, i actually went to research briefly on how twitter works to see if i really do have the need to create one:P (told you i am bored:P)

In the end, the conclusion was a NO.

The reason was because twitter works like a mini blog. You can post up mini updates regularly and your network will get to see your updates immediately after it gets posted. I guess personally i will still prefer updating on my blog here as it isn't as "public" as twitter. It is true that twitter is a very good networking site..but i guess facebook is sufficient for me now(:

2010-05-03T19:38:00.002+08:00

Gosh, 6 months of my holiday have passed.

Yet ironic enough, i yearn for the rest of the 3 months to pass quickly.

Haha I guess i am really looking forward to the new uni life and my new uni course(: However, it also means that my monthly inflow of salary will be gone by then:/ Lols. Btw, I have just accepted my university offer online but i have not send the hard copy of acceptance back yet. (it is actually due to a very dumb and stupid reason: i dun have glue to paste my passport photo onto the acceptance form ><)

May will be rather busy with harmoc pracs and so on(: but hopefully our effort will not be wasted in the end!(:

2010-05-01T14:46:00.003+08:00

gosh her voice is just so soothing(: this song gives me 幸福的感觉(:

i am still so afraid of pain and loss, so perhaps for now, i dun deserve such happiness.

2010-04-25T23:27:00.002+08:00

for a friend.

林俊杰-加油!(feat.MCHOTDOG)

作词:林俊杰Rap:姚中仁(MCHotdog)
作曲:林俊杰

最近你好吗少了一点微笑
说的话有点少
最近我也不好全世界都在逆转
人开始反向思考

发现你爱的人到处跑
昨晚刚升职今天被炒
莫名其妙谁会知道
是不是上天开的玩笑
地震时你想和谁拥抱
什么是生命中的美好
轻易放掉却不知道
幸福就在下一个转角

说一声加油一切更美好
所有的悲伤请往边靠
曾经流过的泪湿了伤口就让
阳光晒干而褪
这一种加油人人都需要
手牵手我们一起赛跑
说好不见不散每分每秒守候你到老

Rap:
Thebeatgoeson时间它一直走
就像是Lifegoeson这过程或许痛
不管顺流或逆流你总得抬起头
让我们一起走走过艰难和困惑

关关是难关但我们关关过
雨后天晴的阳光在天空闪闪烁
出现了彩虹忽然间我们才懂
如果这是一场马拉松那我们一起加油

pls hang on there.

2010-04-24T01:05:00.002+08:00

i chanced through this post this morning while i was bloghopping .

i am specifically referring to the 4th april 2010 post:

http://notesaboutyouandme.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2010-04-10T11%3A11%3A00%2B08%3A00&max-results=7

my heart melted when i read it. lols(:

2010-04-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

jieying didnt feel very good today as she kena conquered by the mosquitoes in her work place. Now her hands and legs(even the sole of the feet) are full of red marks and all she can do is to control herself and not to scratch it. zzz

2010-04-22T23:57:00.002+08:00

i apologise for not being very active these few days. haha! My initial plan for this month was to blog more often so i could brush up my writing skills but i guess it was simply a failure. oops:p

Moreover, it isn't the reason that i do not have anything to write about this time. Instead, i do have some stuffs to write about, such as the busy weekend i had last week attending the MayDay Concert and hanging out with my 4 justice buddies(: BUT, it seems that my laziness has been again the main concern and obstacle. tsk.

So, i hope none of you are expecting any long posts or photos this time:P Coz i am rather tired and preparing to sleep anytime soon:x Nevertheless, i will try to post up some photos by this week on fb and blog. Thus, i am sorry pls be more patient with me dear xinni and xilei(:

Perhaps before i end my post i should fill in with some updates. Well, i didnt get to book jay chou tickets again today! Can you believe it ? it was sold out in less than half an hour! >< Well, i saw in the stomp forum that many were unhappy about the booking system as the site crashed and many who queued up at the authorised outlets aren't able to get any tickets. Now all i could just hope is that there might be a third show miraculously...lols.

2010-04-15T01:07:00.004+08:00

" Only jay chou is capable of causing the Sistic official website to crash"

lol this was posted by someone on twitter this morning and i chanced upon it during my google search on the event while i was frantically panicking over the bookings myself.

It has been spammed over the tv, newspapers or other media these days that the tickets sales for Singapore's Jay Chou Concert 2010 would commence this morning at 9am. (and that was for internet booking, calling only started at 10am lol) hahas i guess everybody learnt their lesson 2 years ago when people (including me and weiting) got a shock of our lives when all the tickets were sold out within 2 days of sales. Thus, it seemed that all his fans decided to book it at the very first minute to "play safe". Truthfully, i found it rather unnecessary initially to book the tickets ONCE the booking started as i thought there will definitely still be seats available in the afternoon or so. I was lucky that in the end weiting preferred to "play safe" and she managed to get the OCBC card from her dunno-which-relative so we could be under the "priority bookings" group.

Lols that was just the introduction. Ignore that if you want to:p Here is main gist: Since 9am, sistic was damn laggy and people like me couldn't even enter the home page. By the time weiting got into the bookings page, only single seats were available for CAT 1 ($228) and 2($198). If i rmbed the time correctly, that was only 9.45 am. Out of desperation, we decided to just book the single seats that were left. WITHIN 3 HOURS PLUS, ALL SEATS WERE SOLD OUT. LOL. Hence, even though me and weiting have to sit separately during the concert(but no worries..i guess..erm...we will find a solution somehow, heehee(: ), i felt really lucky as compared to others, at least we have gotten the tickets.

SO, i am now officially broke as i own weiting 200 over dollars. It means i really really really cannot shop for this month already. Truthfully speaking i am really tempted to buy shoes right now, but i have to exercise some self control mans.

2010-04-13T00:04:00.003+08:00

Hmm, i made a few promises today:)

First, i have promised myself to be less spendthrift for this month so i could save the money to pay for my jay chou concert ticket. For dear fans who still have no idea what i am talking about yet, yes jay chou is coming to Singapore for a concert on July 24 2010!!! Hopefully we can get the front seats:D SO.. JIEYING,NO MORE SHOPPING FOR YOU. (hmm window shopping exempted:p)

Second, it will be keep a healthy lifestyle! nods. i will definitely need to start exercising on a regular basis and have a healthy diet. After siting in a office for a few months, it have made me fatter and lazier. it is time to keep fit so i can stay healthy.. (and wear pretty clothes!)

And haha, having to know myself well enough, i hope i can be disciplined enough to keep my promises. Thus, to all my dear friends who may happen to chance through this post, pls do stop me if you see me on the brink of breaking any of my promises(:

self control! jieying

2010-04-11T23:36:00.002+08:00

沒那麼簡單

詞/姚若龍曲/蕭煌奇

沒那麼簡單就能找到聊得來的伴
尤其是在看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安只好強悍誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單就能去愛別的全不看
變的實際也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單一久也習慣不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話隨便聽一聽自己做決定

不想擁有太多情緒一杯紅酒配電影
在週末晚上關上了手機舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜

幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經

想念最傷心但卻最動心的記憶

2010-04-10T00:29:00.004+08:00

congratulations to myself for i have turned 19!(:

It is an age that i have been pretty looking forward to, for this year i will get to have more opportunities to meet many new people, new friends, new things and learn new stuffs(:

At the same time, this age means to me that it is time to act more like a young adult- to be more mature and prepared for the future. Well the first step to the route of an adult will not be easy and secure, but i guess i will try my best to be brave enough to face up with the challenges ahead!

BUT, i will really really wish that this year can be a slow one for me and let me enjoy my last days of "youth" before switching my age digit to a 2-. That digit 2 just makes me feeeeel old!

Anyway i have a rather enjoyable birthday week!(well if it was not because of sinus and some problems i believe i will enjoy it much much greater lols:P) thank yoou to all my dear friends for your birthday wishes in fb or sms! lols fb is seriously powerful, it makes more ppl rmb your bithday and at the same time provides them the convenience to wish you as well:P and of course thank you nobody and benzene for the celebrations and presents! lastly moo moo will also like to thank her very good friend for celebrating with her on that very day itself(: I hope i will still get to celebrate my birthday with you all in the years to come!(:

here are some GLAM enoough NOBODY photos taken during the celebration. Anybody interested in UNGLAM ones pls check it out at fb itself. LOL

2010-04-04T12:31:00.003+08:00

well i was bloghopping just now (basically trying to stalk and update myself with gossips haha jkjk!) when i chanced through the latest post in the harmoc blog that announced the final exco elections results. GOSH that really made me feel older. time flies and my junior batch is going to step down real soon! but in any case congrats to the newly elected exco members and wish you all the best! it is good that we finally broke the two year trend of having only one guy(and it is always the QM)in the exco and now it is a balanced mix of yin and yang. team dynamics will defintely be different and of course i hope it will change for the better(: and yes, i will keep myself updated on the top 2 choices from wingyee :D

anw, thank you my dear benzene for celebrating collin's and my birthday last friday(: i appreciated the cake and the presents and it was really a fun and enjoyable night. take care and i will look forward to the next gathering again :)

btw, good luck erica and aloy for your interviews!

2010-03-28T02:05:00.002+08:00

As i have mentioned earlier in my previous posts, you need to be disciplined in order to achieve something. unfortunately, i am definitely not doing the very right thing as i have preached because i have been slacking for the past few weeks and many things have been placed on hold due to my laziness:X Understanding the logic that time is precious will not help if my bad habit of ignorance and procrastination does not change. it is time for me to buck up!

ps: jieying cannot believe that she initially wrote a very long post today but in the end she deleted everything except for this paragraph. zzz.

2010-03-23T23:55:00.003+08:00

University applications are kinda ...troublesome.
but i shall not complain since everybody is on the same boat. lols.

i was halfway through writing my financial summary for my NUS financial aid application that i decided to stop and continue the next day as it was rather late and i will need to take ample rest to stay alert tomorrow for work. Before i sleep, i decided to take a quick glance on latest facebook updates tonight and i saw this:

"Brick walls are there not to stop you. They are there to TEST how determined you are in getting what you want. The next time you face your "brick wall", be happy. Because you are very close to achieving your goals and dreams :)"

this was posted by Eric Feng and i really like it. It gives me motivation to try harder for the NUS scholarship essay which had caused me to be quite troubled a few hours ago.

hopefully i can break through these walls soon(:

2010-03-22T00:51:00.004+08:00

从心启航(:

以中文来叙述这次的感受与经历，我觉得应当比较贴切吧？(:也在此同时我想我也能复习一下已许久没有接触的中文写作。:P 如有居多错误，请各位多多包含。

昨天似乎是我们圣尼各拉女校中文学会这几年以来有史一次4代(可能还有更多)学姐的重逢吧？我们都为了这一次意义相当重大的演出而聚在一起。我们red badge在三年前的最后演出之后，因为某些因素，启航已有两年没有举行了。对此我相信blue badge 和 yellow badge 都深感遗憾。而这次领导群是只曾有一年启航经验的green badge,老实说在演出开始之前真是期待又担心。

不过最后一切都还蛮顺利，剧本与演员们都表现不错。当然也少不了后台各个幕后人员的功劳(:当学妹们邀请我们到台上演唱启航之歌时，我仿佛回到了我中学生涯里那每一年参与启航的回忆。我中一演出的黄梅调，中二和一群学姐们制作启航video,中三是当上了designer,最后在中四当上了导演。。。。果真是记忆犹新啊！

希望启航的精神永远不会失传，学妹们会带着我们给予他们期望奋斗下去！

“ 我们明年起航再见！”

ps: gosh i lost my qihang programme booklet 2007! :x

2010-03-17T23:29:00.003+08:00

I have been rather busy with all the university applications these days. But wells thanks to many who have helped me in one way or another(: without all of you i doubt i can be able to manage my job, applications and so on well enough lately(:

lols while typing happily away on this current post, i almost forgot i had a previous draft that did not get posted as i gave up writing few days ago. Come to think of it, it was a pretty good and rather long post since i hardly blog in that manner.(hahahs the "i think" pretty good english manner:p) In addition, i recalled myself typing really passionately then. But its fate had now been set to be hidden in the drafts folder forever and it wun be surprising if i will to delete it intentionally few months to come. For a moment, i incidentally relate this small matter to how i perceive my dreams and goals in the future. Will my attitude towards the insignificant draft be the same next time as to how i deal with my goals and dreams? Will my passion die down after awhile? especially when after i met some obstacles or after i find psychology no more as interesting as i previously found it to be? lols perhaps i am just thinking too much again. However, to admit it truthfully, i am not sure of the answer.

Nonetheless, i had some inspirations from my boss's memo today. He said that when we have a dream or goal, we need to be DISCIPLINED. We must be disciplined in our attitude towards reaching it and no other alternatives should satisfy us. I find it very true. and perhaps for me, i need to be disciplined in my belief as well, the belief that i can make it, the belief that my passion will never die(: jiayous jieying!

btw, my fellow temp friend left our company today:x i doubt she know my blog, but wish that she can get to her desired uni course/ university and
hopefully she can enjoy and rest for the other half of the holidays!

2010-03-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

GOSH GOSH GOSH

2010-03-06T15:23:00.003+08:00

Maturity..

..
..

all of us have still a long way to go.

perhaps i have expected too much from all of you . and perhaps i should just accept whatever it's been.

2010-02-22T22:54:00.004+08:00

thank you so much eliz for those words of encouragement(: i am glad both of us are aiming the same career path. although it is hard, but i will be more optimistic abt it(: and for now, my passion is still strong, and i really dun wish to give up(:

and oh yes, perhaps it is time for me to research on psychology in a wider perspective instead of only focusing on clinical section.i might find out more career prospects that might interest me too!

and of course more backup plans are needed as well. since i am currently working in a private school, perhaps i should start knowing abt their courses as well.. hmm.lols

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."
-- Pope John XXIII.

2010-02-20T18:32:00.003+08:00

cost, cost and just cost.

To be a clinical psychologist, besides getting good grades in your bachelor degree, what i need too is money, money and money.

after achieving my bachelor honours in psych, i will be required to take at least a masters in psychology(clincal). In singapore, 2 such schools actually provide such courses. one is NUS and the other is James Cook university. However, the course in both schools are self-funded programmes. It means it will not be subsidised by the government as well as many scholarships and tuition loans. I do know that we can get a loan from the bank, but i have checked the details on citibank education loan. If i wanna borrow, either me or my family members will need to have a minimum annual salary of $250000-$30000. Thus, this solution is not applicable for me.

I never knew that the financial part of my dream will be that hard to solve. I thought academic wise it was really hard enough, as i will need at least a second upp class honours in my bachelors and good record of clincal attachments/volunteer work before i can be good enough to get shortlisted. Yet, the financial problems are worse.

I didn't really gave up when i reach that dead end during my research yesterday. i tried even harder today.Finally, i saw a glimpse of hope, MOH Holdings is offering a new healthcare graduate studies award. That is currently the ONLY SCHOLARSHIP and SOLUTION for me to take masters in clincial psych in Singapore. It covers all tuition fees and miscellaneous.

Perhaps, i should think really seriously in my decision of courses one month later. There is a need to find a balance in passion, interest and reality.

......

My dream seem so so so so so far away. Do i have enough courage and power to move on?

2010-02-18T23:29:00.000+08:00

patience is a virtue. -nods-

2010-02-16T21:11:00.003+08:00

watching 敗犬女王 in the process:)
GOSH HOW CAN LUCAS BE SO SWEET TO HIS GF? TOO ROMANTIC SIA.DO SUCH GUYS EVER EXIST IN THIS WORLD?
well of course i wish there are and hopefully i will meet one. haha!:p

2010-02-15T23:49:00.004+08:00

sometimes we do need to face the reality. face the fact that i am not rich and money is important. adults always say children never get to worry about money. what am i not the same as them ? i thought i have matured enough to adapt to the fact long long ago. but i guess i am still unable to take it whenever there is some sudden shocks and hiccups. As usual, it seems to always spoil my plans , thrash my hope. nevertheless i will continue to look onto the positive side, at least living in this form of background allowed me to pick up alot of good traits, such as learning to be more thifty, how to self control, financial planning, and be more satisfied with whatever i have(: at least for now, i no longer desire for overseas trips, branded stuff, ipods, latest handphones or movies etc (i do admit i still crave shopping but i will control:p) well, jiayous jieying!! i will work harder in the future so the cruel reality will not block me from my future dreams.

2010-02-08T22:54:00.002+08:00

lol lol lol i am seriously having this very big problem of not capable to multi-task whenever i need to. No matter whether it is about work, goals, plans, schedules or even entertainment

For example, when i think too much about making money, i will keep working,get stressed, get tired, wanna sleep early, eat a lot and simply forget about my other important plan of having a healthy lifestyle(in simple having a healthy diet:p) with plenty of exercise and keep away from oily food.

But then, when i am too engrossed in my aim to change my whole wardrobe and doll myself up, i kept spending away money and forgot that those notes and coins are something i have been trying to earn so dillgently these days.

And best,because i can never multitask, whenever i knew that i am neglecting one of the goals/plans, i will focus on that for a period of time and then in turn neglect the oters. SO, nothing will be improved or accomplished in the end.

Oh man. I do need to think of a solution for myself. Or perhaps i should just be less ambitious. Even though it may be slow but one goal at a time proves to be feasible for me.

2010-02-01T23:28:00.001+08:00

hmm 海派甜心's ending was quite disappointing yesterday:x

2010-01-25T23:36:00.002+08:00

hmm i think i can roughly understand now why there are so many white collars who love to drink coffee during working hours. coz i am drinking coffee everyday now too. lols! Those who knows me quite well should know that i dun drink coffee for leisure purposes becoz i dun have a special liking to it. But for now or even during A levels preparation in the past, i drank coffee to keep myself alert and awake. Seriously, it really works:D Now, i can't live without coffee every single working day. tsktsk. hahas

2010-01-24T02:10:00.002+08:00

It's been sooo long since i actually blog properly. I've been working as an admin assistant (second job in case some dunno, i quit the first one) for the past 2 weeks at a private hostel. Nothing much to comment about, generally it was pretty okay and the colleagues there are nice(: Hopefully eveything goes well and i will stay all the way till june or something(:

Btw, weiling and i went to nyp allied health science camp ystd morning to know more about occupational therapy.Truthfully, i find the courses pretty fun and i believe that i will be able to enjoy the job quite well.However i heard that the pay isn't very high in singapore and i really hope that i can get a job that have good prospect in that area as well:x Moreover, my first choice psychology might not be able to guarantee a good job as well:x i guess i really need to set out some time to research more and think more about it -nods- I shouldn't make the decision impulsively since this is a decision that will affect my future career pathway and rest of my life as well.Hmm.

Oh also i found out that my blood type is possibly A negative through the blood test activity today at the camp. I am a rare blood type sia and might need to inject some shots (rhogam shots i think)when i am get pregnant in the future becoz my neg blood might mix with the baby's blood if they are positive and it will harm both of us or something. Blood bank is also calling out all A neg and O neg blood grp to step forward to donate becoz we are tooooo rare and blood is in demand. Hmm i guess i will go donate in years' time and also keep a bag for myself or something. lols:D

2010-01-17T12:55:00.002+08:00

beautiful lyrics:) love it since i first heard it!
so nice!highly recommended! FIR album this time not bad(:

F.I.R. - 向日葵盛開的夏天

櫻花飄過了秋天　你我分開的季節
眼淚疼了　無法表達
反覆在我心深處的掙扎
傘為你開　卻被你收

踏在青色柏油路　忘記走習慣的路
害怕了嗎　想念你啊
夏天的向日葵不說心事
傷感的字　亂了理智　無法掩飾

感謝你陪伴我　走過了每一步
花終究會雕落　沒辦法再呵護
這真的是一段　很難熬的路
觸碰感情深處　我才讀懂幸福

經過一陣雷雨　太陽依舊燦爛
雨後的向日葵　會安靜的陪伴
你說過每一句　會好好記住
在陌生的未來　我會更勇敢

2010-01-07T13:15:00.001+08:00

this dance and song simply rocks sia! i guess i really like this kind of dances( those that can make your body look damn fluid and must be danced by guys:p). the hands movements really cool!

2010-01-03T21:28:00.006+08:00

today is my so called " last day of freedom" since i am starting work from tmr onwards(: for the past few days i had kept myself busy enough to celebrate the end of freedom. lols:p

1. harmoc party
part of nobody went to the harmoc party on saturday at sentosa. time flies sia, we were officially j3s by then. but sadly, we were the only j3s there. there were not many j2s as well but many j4s came(: the whole party went off quite smoothly and thanks rachel and other excos for your effort! and of course thanks to all j2s for the nice food!

nobody's jumping shot!

j4s:D

the girls. ( those who havent went off by then or those who didnt join the luge ride gang)

2. Sentosa countdown
i went with 4j clique to sentosa on 31st that day. we stayed there the whole day and got myself damn tired after that. worse, pearl felt sick when we were about to go home:x And lols i am definitely going to shun from bright sunlight for at least 2-3 weeks or so since i went to sentosa twice this week and got myself darker. well i truly have no desire in getting tanner and prefer my fair skin :D

fangting with her "heart" using the sand from the hill i built. lols

those who are interested can go my fb profile to see all the qian shou guan yin photos. each of us have one:D

we saw alot of peacocks there:D

3. alyy's cousin wedding

hahahas! okay hopefully the title is not confusing. it is literally alyy's cousin wedding. even though we are only friends of alyy and we do not know the cousin or his wife, we went to attend their wedding since alyy invited us:p quite paiseh at the end when we had to shake hands with the parents and couple to leave the ballroom:p but the wedding was great and food was nice ! haha! all thanks to alyy!

this was favourite dish that day:D it was superb:D

alyy and debb tan's clique(:

LOL. we camwhored in the meritus mandarin toilet. somemore there were people beside us washind hands so on. HAHA

the ballroom(:

2010-01-02T01:26:00.001+08:00

exactly one year. for you.

軌跡
作詞：黃俊郎　作曲：周杰倫

怎麼隱藏　我的悲傷　失去妳的地方
妳的髮香　散得匆忙　我已經跟不上

閉上眼睛　還能看見　妳離去的痕跡
在月光下　一直找尋　那想念的身影

如果說分手　是苦痛的起點
那在終點之前　我願意再愛一遍
想要對妳說的　不敢說的愛
會不會有人　可以明白

我會發著呆　然後忘記妳　接著緊緊閉上眼
想著哪一天　會有人代替　讓我不再想念妳

我會發著呆　然後微微笑　接著緊緊閉上眼
又想了一遍　妳溫柔的臉　在我忘記之前

心裡的眼淚　模糊了視線　
妳已快　看不見

2010-01-01T01:06:00.004+08:00

:) JIEYING's NEW YEAR RESOLUTION:

jieying, you are so immature. too immature till i cannot stand it. so jieying, grow up. please. dun get affected by the slightest thing. dun be too vulnerable in front of most people. you need to learn more, experience more, reflect more. control your thinkings, actions and dun blame others when for goodness sake it is simply your own fault. learn to care, love and be more considerate. stay strong in your own beliefs but change and adapt when others seems more logical and justified. be objective and dun be selfish. learn to take more pain and suffering while treasuring your happiness. do not be greedy, take just what is enough and learn to give as well. stop your stupid temper in front of your family and learn to respect them the same way as how people do, not in your own way of respect. be less sensitive to yourself and be more sensitive of others' needs. of course, you must learn to forgive and forget. let go of what happened in the past and how badly it have affected you. coz no matter what, what was done was done. i know you are just a human, just a 18 year old girl. but c'mon jieying, i expect more from you. i hope you to be a 18 year old outside but a more mature being inside. try your very best to kick away your bad habits and those bad characteristics learnt due to whatever pain you suffered last time. you are you, jieying. so, stay strong. and i hope to see you improved, grown up and matured at the end of 2010.

2009-12-29T17:08:00.002+08:00

lol lol lol lol lol lol.

i just went to the best interview ever. all thanks to xilei and shihua, i mean seriously your names just rock friends. haha! thanks to xilei's recommendation, i went for an interview to be an event promoter just now. well, i prepared the whole of last night by rehearsing the typical qns and finding out more about the company. however, when i went in to the interview room, all i said was i am friends with shihua and xilei, and since they were recruited in half an hour earlier than me, the person recruited me as well. LOLLLLL. i can't believe it initially, since he never asked me ANYTHING AT ALL. ( okay nothing besides asking me if i had applied for other jobs or not) but well, yes, the fact is i got a job!!!!

hmm i might consider to take up this job for the whole of my six to seven months break, becoz this company is actually a charity organisation and i think i will be able to enjoy the advertising campaigns and so on since i will be able to do good to the community as well as gain experience at the same time(: i am really glad that this job can fulfill both my job criteria : earn lots of money and something that i really like .( just like yfa programme that i had tried previously)

the first week of jan will be the probation week. i will be working tgt with xilei and shihua i guess. hopefully everything goes well, gambateh!(:

2009-12-27T03:24:00.002+08:00

got addicted to this song now:p i really love the lyrics( well that will be if i decipher and infer them correctly ...)

玩具枪与玫瑰-黄鸿升

这是我的告别演唱会
烟火让一万都昙花一现
不可以流泪
不值得留恋
不过是最后一场园游会
而不让我们都假装无邪
很少的甜点
没有在管明天

你只要一把玩具枪与玫瑰
就推翻掉我给你的超完美
没有神没有鬼
没有回忆的醉
没有谁的泪水比较咸

你只要一把玩具枪与玫瑰
就摧毁掉我爱你的全世界
没有钱没永远
没有人会可怜
今年的十二月没有雪
没有忧愁(没有永久)
没有永远没有永远

我用叹息对你不隐藏
我把我心脏埋进了音箱
绝望的独唱想你的音浪
就关掉所有巨大的音箱
依赖这脑海一样的音光
让我们习惯
无至尽的以往

2009-12-25T16:41:00.004+08:00

明明想起是一件痛苦的事，那为何当自己发现那些片段突然变得模糊时，心里却感到那么地一点不舍呢？

矛盾。

可能这支风筝还没飞得太远。。

2009-12-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!(:

2009-12-24T02:19:00.002+08:00

haha i am simply blogging coz i cannot sleep:x okay it is in fact my own fault as i took a very very long nap in the afternoon:p been worrying over jobs and jobs and jobs. i have sent in resumes and so the only thing i can do now is to await for replies. i guess i am just too impatient this time. but hopefully i can get some good paying jobs(: i think i am getting really money minded these days,tsk.

2009-12-20T22:51:00.000+08:00

the original version is actually in chinese to promote this song to china. however, i still like the korean version best:D

2009-12-19T18:13:00.001+08:00

Benzene went to teoheng again:D ( unfortunately without glen becoz he was not in singapore)
As usual we spam songs and i definitely agree that teoheng's songlist is very very updated ( compared to kbox etc) i sang a few sad songs and kinda regret it coz it kinda made jas sad. ( sorry jasmine:x) nothing really new happened lar, it was just like our usual teoheng trips, just that this time we took more unglam shots:p

we took this at the very top storey of parkway parade.

lols, we tried at least 12 times of jumping shots. i felt that this is one of the best:D

an sudden attack shot by collin or erica or aloysius

they said i looked one of those working in macdonalds.hahas!

2009-12-19T00:01:00.003+08:00

wow, finally. i changed my blogskin and blog address(: Glad that i found this really really nice blogskin tonight, even though it means sacrificing my job searching time:p. i also changed my blog address after what it seem like 5 years. for convenience sake i changed my blog adress to the same as my wordpress blog. but please don't bother to find my wordpress blog, coz i have not posted up anything on it yet:p

krystal, yunhan and me went for carolling at tanglin mall this evening. today, i learnt a new thing : where tanglin mall is:D lols. me and krystal walked from orchard mrt all the way to tanglin mall. it took almost half an hour for us to reach there especially when we were quite lost here and there. luckily, we managed to find it on time before the sound check started even though we were damn tired after the long long walk(: well, i learnt my lesson and will take bus from orchard mrt to tanglin mall next time. ( we walked a distance of 3 exact bus stops! )

will be posting up teoheng pictures with benzene tmr(:

2009-12-17T22:49:00.003+08:00

i am seriously considering to change my blogskin and blog address these days.buuuutttt... i can't seem to find any suitable skins!

anw, i've been job searching again these days. pathlight school didn't call/email me since my YFA interview 2-3 weeks ago so perhaps i didn't manage to pass the interview and got selected:x it was quite disappointing since i really love doing such jobs and it can help me in my future psychology path too. but well, i should not be saddened over it for too long and quickly get a job. truthfully, i neeeeed moneeeeeey.

2009-12-14T15:43:00.003+08:00

i had carolling with yunhan, xinni and j1s at marina square yesterday. Finally for once, i felt like a normal member and could stay relaxed throughout the whole performance and preparation itself(: carolling was generally fun. i signed up for two more performances, looking forward to them!(:

lols i had a terrible dream today. everything seems so real inside. i dreamt that i was on the MRT train with my grandma and there were police with guns guarding every mrt door. when we arrived at toa payoh mrt station, all the police began to hold their guns in position and the atmosphere began to tense up. me and grandma alighted at that station and the passengers realised there was a bomb lying on the floor. people started to scream and ran away while i was too shocked until my legs could not bring me anywhere. then, i woke up. hahas.

i never encounter such situation before, and of course hope that i never will. the fear and shock was intense. fortunately, till now, all my dreams never seem to happen in the real life before. but wells, it was quite an exciting dream:P

2009-12-12T22:27:00.003+08:00

i love this quote. cool sia.

"All creatures want to believe in something bigger them themselves. They cannot live without blind obedience. And to escape the pressure of that trust, those in whom faith is placed in turn look for someone higher than themselves. And then those people in turn look for someone even stronger. That is how all kings are born. That is how all Gods are born. ... "

- something what Aizen said in Bleach manga when he was fighting with shinji

2009-12-11T04:51:00.001+08:00

蔡健雅 - 思念
作詞：蔡健雅作曲：蔡健雅

堆積所有對你的思念
把思念推進個黑暗的房間
房間就在廚房的後面
你仍會發現

菸不離手把自己灌醉
醉醒過後笑自己有多狼狽
泡的咖啡有苦的滋味
我睜開了眼
忘記你是誰

要風箏自由乾脆剪斷了線
讓它往藍天空隨風而飛
越飛越高直到看不見
像電影裡的畫面

這樣也許能讓我好過一些
把你當做風箏隨風而飛
越飛越高直到無所謂
我剪斷了線
不再對你懷念

愛
總是讓人心碎
讓我無法入睡
我又忍不住走進了房間
我閉上了眼
又被思念包圍

又被思念包圍

----------------
我閉上了眼又被思念包圍

2009-12-04T22:20:00.002+08:00

just now, my sister borrowed my laptop for 2 whole hours and i went walking here and there not knowing what to do next. i almost went crazy. this shows how important my internet and laptop are to me manns especially when i was really very very very very very.....very bored.

to my dear laptop and internet: you rocks sia!haha!

hmm i should change my blogskin soon. i can't see the heartshape picture on top anymore.

( lols.random rants---> coz i am really bored!!)

2009-12-03T02:23:00.002+08:00

to all dear victorians and friends who are taking bio tmr:

GOOD LUCKKKKKK! and it will be officially OVER!

(:

2009-11-29T00:41:00.001+08:00

lols instead of fma brotherood i watched pandora hearts. DAMN NICE LAH. i hope there will be second season(:

2009-11-25T14:27:00.005+08:00

i had my YFA interview today. haha they really meant what they said. the whole process did last for 2 hours lols. thank you to all those friends who have sent me all those good luck wishes or helped me in this job application in one way or another!(: i guess i have tried my best during the interview ( just that i coughed quite alot, stupid cough :x). hopefully i will be able to get the job and can meet those new friends i have made today again . btw, it was really coincidental as i realised that one of them, jessica, is harkhui's classmate.lols. too bad, harkhui is too lazy (:p) to submit her resume, so she didnt manage to apply at all. if not, we will be able to work tgt for 6 whole months if interview is successful lor.

anw, we went to visit st nicks again today since it was their sports day. heard that it was the last day that we can ever visit the old building anymore. all the classrooms and canteen have been emptied. even mirrors have been removed from the wall:x but i am kinda excited to see how the new building will be like years later...HMM.. hopefully not that colourful anymore:P

2009-11-24T20:15:00.003+08:00

As is ALMOST over!:) hais it is not completely over yet since i have to wait till 3 dec for my last paper to end. but well, at least we get to have a week break before it to relax and shop for prom dresses:) and hopefully my last paper will be okay!:x anw i am getting so into anime these days. Within these few months, i had finished 103 episodes of d-gray man and it was damn nice!i prefer it over FMA and hopefully more episodes will be produced soon since the author have continued on the manga since november. i also started watching bleach since my sis sort of recommended me about it. however i started to slow down when i reached around 150 plus episodes coz it is getting boring. i guess i shall take a break from it and gonna start FMA brotherhood soon:)