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that light within me;
Quotes: “There is a reason why people don't stay where they are. Baby sometimes love just aint enough.” Destined: carpe diem quam minimum credula postero
Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 8:50 AM
GOOD MORNING!(:

i know you will think that i am crazy.

okay la i admit i am a little siao today haha! blahh i never slept the whole night, couldn't get myself to sleep and i had no mood to study:x So, i decided to watch some shows to kill boredom. and right till now, i still DUN FEEL SLEEPY AT ALL. but i guess i need to force myself to have some rest. health is important -nods-

vj postpone our CTs back one week! i was really glad when i recieved this news, as it means i have more time to finish studying. hope i can be determined enough this time and not procrastinate as usual. i needa try harder to kick this bad habit away. jiayous everyone!(:

-------------------
还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖

Saturday, June 20, 2009, 8:49 PM
Youth Entrpreneurship Symposium 2009 [YES'09!]

me, xinni , amanda and some other biz club members attended the YES'09 last wed and thurs at SMU administration building. truthfully me and xinni were dreading the arrival of the symposium coz we thought it was going to waste our 20 bucks registration fee and time to study for TWO WHOLE DAYS. we were actually kinda regretting signing up since this symposium was supposed to cater for j1 excos members to attend.( but others can sign up oso lar.)
the only thing we were looking forward to was the industry visit on the first day afternoon. but well, surprisingly after attending, i found myself having quite alot of fun for the two whole days(:

the first day consisted of mostly talks in the morning. it was really LONG as it stretched from 9 plus all the way to 1 plus. but luckily, the talks were from really really good speakers such as the international entrepreneur coach Mr Kelvin Lim. He was really confident and very straightforward, telling us what it takes to be a good entrepreneur. in addition, we realised that he was VERY RICH, lols! He is currently managing a company which coaches CEOs and other entrepreneurs to their route of success. Unless you are CEOs of really really big company, there is no way you can hire him as your mentor. i don't really want to imagine the amount of money he can earn everyday. hahahahs. In the afternoon my group the service sector went to talentpreneur hub and the hive for industry visit. it was quite enjoying as this was our first time entering a backpackers' hostel that cost 20 bucks per night for one bed and free breakfast.

first day's night and second day was the straining part. All of us were busy preparing on our YES challenge presentation. Generally, the teams are supposed to think of new ideas and sell it to big bosses relating to the industries they had visited on the first day. My group, team 4a, thought of having a chalet-like hub with many facilities for teenagers to have a gathering or something near the CBD area. but yeah, after presenting to the judges, we evaluated that the startup costs are way too high and we never clearly state when it will break even and start gaining profits. hence, it was rather infeasible. we din get into the finals but congrats to xinni, germaine and mengxi for entering top 5 in their respective grps! Overall i think that the top 5 presentations were great, the product/ idea they were proposing are all quite feasibe and creative.one preliminary round judge even commented on one of the top 5 grps that if no VC ( venture capitalist ) go and approach them, then something got problem. lols.

truthfully, i found myself very lucky as we got to listen to many successful entrepreneurs in singapore on their stories and comments and having the opportunity to embark on a entrepreneurship project ourselves. even though i dun think i am going to be an entrepreneur next time..it was still a good learning experience(: here are some photos!(:

the hive(: one of the rooms
service sector!

team 4a and 4b(: we wearing biz suits coz needa present to professional entrepreneurs from all over spore.my team 4a! fred, kenneth, me, shiying and grace ( all j1s except me lols)
damn random.lols
me and xinni(:
4J clique outing!(:
we had a 4j clique outing ystd! too bad it wasn't a complete clique outing since xilei, linwei and fangting couldnt make it:/ we went to the flyer for our first time coz it was 10 bucks for student price:D after that evonne joined us at new york. we spent alot and ate alot ystdd.( esp the free cotton candies that they gave LOL) but we had alot of fun!(: we shall come tgt to celebrate pearl's birthday sooooon(:
all of us at new york

the freeeee cotton candies. we took more after that. LOL
me and eliz on the flyer.
toilet camwhorrrre
i suggested to pearl on facebook that she should made this into a postcard. lols.
----------
no matter how tough it is, i choose to believe and i choose to wait.
i hope you know it is really hard for me to maintain this faith if it is just a one man show.

, 8:22 PM
i seriously can't find any motivation to focus today:P been on restaurant city almost the whole day.

a nice song(:

pictures of you- The Last GoodNight

This is the clock upon the wall
this is the story of us all
this is the first sound of a new born child before he starts to crawl
this is the war thats never won
this is a soldier and his gun
this is the mother waiting by the phone
praying for her son

Pictures of you,
Pictures of me,
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you,
pictures of me,
remind us all of what we used to be

there is a drug that cures it all
blocked by the govermental wall
we are the scientists inside the lab
just waiting for the call
this earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
im high up and dry

confess to me every secret moment
every stolen promise you believe
confess to me all the lies between us
all that lies between you and me

we are the boxers in the ring
we are the bells that never sing
there is a title we cant win
no matter how hard we must swing

pictures of you pictures of me
remind us all of what we could have been(could have been)

-----------------
pictures of you pictures of me
remind us all of what we could have been

Friday, June 12, 2009, 12:51 AM


i rmb i was like spamming the song [guy version] to xilei when we were in sec 4 coz it was damn nice. now a new female version is out. the mv is cool, and i like her eyes. lols

東城衛&曾沛慈-夠愛
作詞:A Chord 謝和弦 
作曲:脩 
編曲:東城衛樂團 

我穿梭金星 木星 水星 火星 土星 追尋
追尋你 時間滴滴答滴答答的身影
我穿梭金星 木星 水星 火星 土星 追尋
追尋你 時間滴滴答滴答答的身影

指頭還殘留 你為我 擦的指甲油
沒想透 你好像說過 你和我 會不會有以後

世界一直一直變 地球不停的轉動
在你的時空 我從未退縮懦弱
當我靠在你耳朵 只想輕輕對你說
我的溫柔 只想讓你都擁有

我的愛 只能夠 讓你一個 人獨自擁有
我的靈和魂魄 不停守候 在你心門口
我的傷和眼淚 化為烏有 為你而流
藏在無邊無際 小小宇宙 愛你的我

你聽見了嗎 我為你唱的這首歌
是為了要證明 我為了你 存在的意義

愛你的我 不能停止脈搏 為了愛你奮鬥
就請你讓我 說出口

Thursday, June 11, 2009, 12:00 AM
harmoc chalet from monday-tuesday!(:

thanks to all the j1s for this JTS chalet at coasta sands (pasir ris), especially to my j1 excos, thanks for ur hardwork in the planning ! truthfully, it was really kinda small in size to cater around 30 plus j2s and 10 plus j1s. but it was not their fault since the wonderful and big chalet we had last year was taken up for quarantine usage. but i guess after my experience in this chalet this time i will never advise anyone to book it for big grp usage again. there is practically almost NOTHING provided in the whole house. there isn't any stove, no knife, no microwave, no remote control blah blah blah. it was rather inconvenient especially when the j1 excos needa prepare bbq food for us and needed some of the equipment, but in the end they just used whatever stuffs they had and tried their best lor ( eg. me, rachel and xinyu used our hands to tear the dory fish apart as we could not get a knife anywhere :P)

Many j2s came and i was really glad we could get tgt again in this chalet as harmoc senior batch one last time. Not alot of j1s came, which was rather disappointing, but i hope next year more can attend as seniors themselves! (: Anw, i am so sorry to those friends who came but i forgot to prepare ur gift! hope you wun mind:x and to those others who had recieved, hope you liked it. it was rather simple:P

As usual, most of us didn't sleep for the whole night. Some were playing cards and my group were having HTHT.LOL. i still could not believe that we could actually talk for the whole night from around 10 plus the previous night all the way to the next morning. but truthfully, HTHT really helped to bond us tgt. i am glad i can open up so much and so easily to you all now(: thank you nobody, after so many months of locking myself inside, i really can feel the positive change in me now(: and i hope i can start to trust more of my other friends in the process too.

here are some photos!

j1 and j2 excos with mr lee(:
those j2 excos that were present that day(: those from girls' school!(:
nobody 's breakfast

the focus is not them okay, is the beautiful coconut tree behind! haha! (jkjk)

june ki siao alr..and i dunno what i was actually doing. LOL



thank you nana for your presents!(:

-----------------------
but i am trying trying to walk away...

Sunday, June 07, 2009, 6:16 PM
i am not given the gift to speak.
i am not given the gift to express myself clearly enough.

that is why i don't like to talk.
i don't like to share.

yet i am touched that there are still people out there who can understand me,
understand those feelings i try to convey beyond words.
thanks for compromising with my flaw.

and for those who couldn't.
i guess it is fate.
life is fair.

but i am sorry, i am greedy, i wanna some to understand.
thus this time it will be my turn to compromise.
it is not easy, but i wanna try to overcome that flaw of mine.

当人不懂得知足,他就得付出相同的代价。
------------------
thanks for making that effort(:
But sorry, i have closed that door of mine for quite long, opening it up needs time i guess...


Saturday, June 06, 2009, 1:57 AM
ST NICKS RED BADGE COHORT DAY(:

red badge had our cohort day today at st nicks canteen! lol actually i wasn't intending to go at first, but since my previous outing was postponed i decided to go with xilei and eliz in the end to EAT ORANGE BOWL(: omg, i really miss myself eating st nicks canteen food!! truthfully, if i have to compare it with vj food, st nicks canteen food is HEAVENLY ( sorry to all vj stall aunties and uncles :x ) unfortunately only the drinks stall, toast stall and orange bowl were opened. how i wish the western food stall was opened :/ i miss their pasta and pizza!
Hmm we went at around 6 plus nearing 7 which was already quite late since the whole event started at 5 plus. Lucky enough, all the justians who came earlier didn't leave yet. i was glad that most of the justians ( those suppose to be in singapore now i mean ) were present(: and of course, we definitely must not miss out our dear ms jacob! we took quite a lot of photos as usual(: here are some below:
justians who came for cohort day with ms jacob(:

the corridor that never seem to change..
i wonder if other badges had such a cohort day like us too.if they dun have perhaps they should start planning one too! it was really quite heartwarming, going back to meet up with old friends, teachers and the school itself. hmm i guess coming to vj really exposes me to the more harsh and realistic side of life. Going back to st nicks with that bunch of friends once a while can really make me feel refreshed, as if back to that innocent and simple self again(: i am not yearning for the past, but i guess i just need a little dose once a while to gain back the strength to persevere through this reality of life(:
--------------------
what i need is perseverence and support.

Thursday, June 04, 2009, 11:47 PM
hahas something random:D i finished watching hana yori dango jap version during dec holidays. now i just finished with the KOREAN VERSION this time:D HAHAHA. hmm nothing much in diff..perhaps...i shld say.. the korean guys are much much more handsome. LOL.

, 6:38 PM
hmm i am getting very bloggish these days. but perhaps that is a good thing, i dun really like to be so introverted sometimes.

been in that dilemma so long. thanks friend for ur constant advice(: but i guess i will continue on that journey. it is tough, but i still can't bear to lose it. sorry to hurt you in this way, not heeding your advice, but for you i will try to be stronger(:

i know i might seem to be avoiding the problem..but since i chose it this way, i am prepared mentally for the repercussions. let myself be held responsible for it.

i have no confidence in saying that time will solve everything..but i believe time can train me in handling it better than previous(:

jiayous my dear!jiayous to me too(:

Wednesday, June 03, 2009, 8:01 PM
i love 小寒(: this is a super emo song, but truthfully, i need it when i need to scream.


曹格 - 寂寞先生
作曲:曹格 作词:小寒

你的笑容是恩惠 世界难得那麽美
於是追 要你陪
可惜本能终会将美丽汗水化成泪水

黑夜之所以 会黑叫醒人心里的鬼
在游说 在萦迴
在体内是什麽在把我 摧毁
在伤痕累累

我可以无所谓寂寞 却一直掉眼泪
人类除了擅长颓废 做什麽都不对
Oh Im not okay

我假装无所谓 才看不到心被拧碎
人在爱情里越残废 就会越多安慰
无论 多虚伪

空虚 并非是 词汇能够形容的魔鬼
它支配 着行为 能摆脱寂寞
我什麽 都肯给 就像个傀儡

我要无所谓 无所谓 我要无所谓oh~~
(才看不到心被拧碎)
人在爱情里越残废 就会越多安慰
无论 有多虚伪

trying to master it before going to k..but NVM.TOO HARD.LOL

------------------------
我假装无所谓 才看不到心被拧碎

Tuesday, June 02, 2009, 9:40 PM
i know this is late, but i finally manage to find the correct mood and time to post this:P

Last saturday was amazing, my first ever successfully planned concert ended in quite a high note. i guess it was a day i will never forget.

truthfully i must say, i never placed so much time and effort into such a concert before, not even during my days in stnicks huahui. i guess coz after constantly contributing as an exco member thruout the whole year, i started to love vjcharmoc more and more. . This journey in vjc harmoc had made me learn quite alot. Many things have happened along this journey, both good and bad. i do not dare to say i had become more mature in my thinking, but i have definitely tried to accept and overcome many of my flaws. Those days were hard , coz many a times i failed to overcome it, and resulted in a lot of repercussions. i often blamed myself, and sank into mild depression. But slowly, i got to see the importance of acceptance. sometimes, things just have to be in that way i guess.
i was glad that even though i was rather stressed up by quite a few things this whole year, many people were there to support me constantly(: i shall list them out:

1. Firstly to my J2 EXCOS!


thank you to all my dear excos! truthfully you all are the best excos i had ever worked with with in my life(: you guys are a bunch of very supportive and encouraging friends, and these little actions of support, concern really touched me. we had worked so hard ever since SYF preparations and had bonded us tgt alot alot. we progressed very fast from those times when we hardly even meet/talk to each other other than meetings to those times when we just sticked tgt thruout the harmoc hours or even after that( to go dinner and gossip:P). i guess i will really miss those days...
those days where we stayed back after harmoc to work on exco stuffs, those days when we felt that we were being forgotten yet we still fight on..those days when we worked so hard to try to get our SWAY right..

i will never forget you all! EXCO 08/09 ROCKS:D


2. Thank you NOBODY! ( plus jieqi and carol:D)
i knew that day after concert many of you sent msgs to each other to thank everybody. i am sorry i was one of those that didnt coz i was too tired until i slept:x thus, i decided to thank all of you here! THANK YOU NOBODY! truthfully i din expect myself to be performing as a NOBODY before we were formed. but i am really glad to perform with you all since all of you are my great harmoc friends! i am so sorry i often had to arrange meetings in such a way that it clashed with our practices and music comm + exco were unable to prac with the rest of you. thanks for being so considerate to understand our situation and even helped us out in saikanging etc whenever we needed help:x it was really glad to have such a bunch of supportive friends out there besides my excos + music comm to give me strength to persevere. i enjoyed those days of practices and heartwarming birthday celebration. and regarding my birthday celebration in april, thank you so much! i never had or recieved such a special celebration and presents before(:

to jieqi and carol! thank you so much for helping out in our performance! i felt bad that we had made so many last minutes changes and you had to cater to us but i never heard you all complain at all. thanks for being so nice and helpful!(:

3. MR LEE, MISS NG AND MR TANG!

i dunno if you all will visit my blog or not.. but stil thank you so much my dear teachers and mr tang!

to my dear teachers, thank you so much for your guidance throughout this whole term in harmoc. without your help, i wun be able to guide my excos and other members to what we are today(: even though many times we disagree with your opinions, thanks for being so open minded and consider our views. i am so sorry for those times when any one of us seemed to get a bit frustrated and vent out on you all. please forgive in our immaturity!:x

to mr tang, YOU SIMPLY ROCK MANS. HAHA. we all know that you are a super busy man who needa guide several schools to get good SYF results and plan good concerts. yet, you always put on that smile of yours and encourage us thruout our tough, tiring practices. your encouragement really made me persevere and maybe you dun know..you are the man that made me pass my standing broad jump during 5 items!!(okay this is random..only a few knew this stupid story:P)
i am so sorry for those times that we somehow neglected you during the practices or had some miscommunications that caused you to come down to vj for nothing ( etc no prac that day). i hope you can forgive me and yes i know there wun be a next time for me but i will tell wingyee to be extra careful! :P



4. THANK YOU MY DEAR MUSIC COMM(:

i must say, OUR CONCERT AND SYF SERIOUSLY CANT PROGRESS W/O YOU ALL. LOL. you all are really a group of super important people to our whole band! thank you soo soo soo much for being cooperative and understanding with the excos and teachers for this whole year. it really made alot of things work out much more easily than usual(: your contributions and sacrifices made to have meetings, extra sectionals etc are definitely no lesser than what my excos did. thank you once again for working so hard for vjc harmoc!

5. Beloved J1 EXCOS!

to our successors! we can see that you all really tried your best to get all the allocated tasks done! sometimes, as the j2 excos, we were unable to guide you all throughout your whole journey of planning due to our busy schedules and the many allocated work we had to rush out.
thanks for being so understanding and tried to be independent to pick up those skills yourself(: we really appreciate that(: you had helped us to lessen many of our workload and i was glad many tasks were done well enough even though many of you were quite inexperienced(:
thank you and jiayous for next year's concert!(:

6. ALL THE HARMOC MEMBERS!


haha! of coz i wun forget abt you all! without each and everyone of you, this concert wun be as great as it was. thanks for always being there for practices and trying so hard in your own private time to train for our SYF and concerts. i really appreciate that effort made(: even though sometimes i had to vent my anger on you all, thanks for being cooperative and understanding of my situation. i really need that kind of support. as a whole, thanks for supporting me!this concert was our hardwork! and let us be proud of this glory!(:


7. to all my loved ones(:

i hope you know who you are. throughout this whole year, you have been there for me thru those times when i was stressed up or upset. thanks for those concern and care(: you all are an important part of my life(:

now i had officially step down i guess..really dun want to do that, but now it is really time to pass on to the juniors.jiayous(: and i love vjc harmoc forever!(:

-----------------
i lost that again and wanna find it back.

Monday, June 01, 2009, 11:33 PM
hmm it seems that i dun have much time to blog about concert today again. schedule kinda packed:x i shall try to blog abt it tmr(: came here today to blog random stuffs, got the mood today to blog abt it.

this morning we had bio lecture. Mr Chua was way too high, we just keep laughing at his lame comments. but not bad lar, it kept us awake for the nearly 5 HR LONG lecture. And for the whole month, i finally understood (SORT OF) ONE chapter of bio:D does it mean my bio got hope? LOL.

at night me ,mr lee, yunhan, sharon, sinchi, audrey,chunyin and shyan ann went to watch hwa chong's harmonica concert windworks 09. it the concert was generally not bad, the syf pieces were quite good and the flight of the bumblebee performed bye soloist was imbahhh. i videoed it somemore so i can show someone who have tried to learn before:) That guy really worked hard on it i guess, mr tang told us he spent arnd one year practising on such a short piece. but his hardwork showed us good results, his performance was really good:)

hmm i wonder when can i settle down to study..truthfully, i dun have the mood yet. but i guess i can't sit and wait for the mood to come anymore. time to be serious-nods- jiayous to all who are working hard too!(:

--------
that line is too thin.
and i finding it hard to balance on it.

all i need to do is to learn and persevere i guess.