today wasn't a very good day again:/ but nevertheless i shant give up. it is a good way to stretch myself to further limits. Well,i shall buck up and pull through it!(: jiayous jiayous!(:

These few days wasn't really good. Please pardon me as i dun feel like elaborating it now :P

But in all, thank you to all my dear friends who have shown care and concern to me through tags, smses and msn(: Your words of support and encouragement were greatly appreciated(: At the same time, really so sorry and paiseh to those who tried to accompany me yet my temper went loose and treated you badly instead:x I shouldn't vent out my unhappiness on the innocent:x

In addition, after some self introspection, i realise that i am becoming more realistic and pessimistic as i progress further into the world of adults and reality:/ These characteristics surfaced rather obviously this year. i felt kinda sad that i have become like this ..However, i guess a certain level of this change is good for me to adapt well enough into the society. Thus, i do accept it as well. I know it is ironic and conflicting..even i could not really figure out my stand. But no matter how i change in the years to come, i am determined to remain a portion of my optimism and innocence untouched, for they are my true origins and the ones that have been teaching me how to appreciate life(:

i am a little tired:/

i am attracted to the tune of this song since long ago. However, i never exactly understood the lyrics then. It was only until today that i figured out what the lyrics really meant through 小寒's blog post. This made me admire 小寒 even more(:　It is really amazing how she is so capable of making such observations and theories in modern life and love and phrase them in such artistic way.

recommended(: The blog post can be viewed here :
http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/118075282.html




曲/小寒
詞/蔡健雅

我確實說 我這樣說
我不在乎結果
我對你說 我有把握
成功例子好多

人們虛假又造作
總愛得不溫不火
我們用真心 就不會有差錯
我沒想過 我會難過
你竟然離開我

愛沿著 拋物線
離幸福 總降落得差一點
流著血 心跳卻不曾被心痛削滅
真真切切

青春的 拋物線
把未來 始於相遇的地點
至高後才了解
世上月圓月缺 只是錯覺

我好想說 我只想說
我不要這後果
可是你說 相對來說
走開是種解脫

當初親密的動作
變成當下的閃躲
感情的過程 出了什麼差錯
我沒想過 我會難過
你終於離開我

gosh, FMA manga ended with a 100page long of last chapeter 108. Felt kinda sad after i finished the manga:x Perhaps coz i have at least been kinda following it for a year already. i wonder how i will feel if Detective Conan is going to end since i have been following it from 9 yeers old.lols.

It is usually good to have a vision, an aim or a goal in mind to pursue.

But sometimes, i find myself being too eager to reach the end point and see the result. I tend to get impatient, and consequently problems always seem to arise in the very early stages. When troublesome issues surface and i cannot handle it, i will lose interest easily and procrastinate. I guess this characteristic is one of the attributes of an Arien. Ariens are an innovative, enthusiastic bunch of people who like to kick the headstart to everything that seems to them interesting but they will hardly persevere to the end.(pardon me, i am getting very astrological these days:P) This can be quite bothering when it comes to dealing with very important aims and goals in my life. For now, i am beginning to see symptoms of impatience in myself in my journey of pursuing my dream career. It seems like i might have plan way too ahead and yearning to embark on too many different plans when i have not even enter uni yet:x Some things will need to be done but not all at once now. I just hope i will not make the same mistake that i did few years ago - thinking that i have 36 hours a day.

Some adults and friends have advised me to take one step at a time, especially so when i am dealing with important goals such as my dream career. It is indeed hard for me to follow:P Nevertheless i believe it should be the correct thing to do right now(:

i was once really interested in astrology, so obsessed with it till i went to the library and borrowed thick astology books to read. But i barely absorbed much since i was just 12/13 years old then:P But i could still remember how i used wangling's astrology book to calculate my ascendant, moon sign and other planets. It was a pity that i couldn't remember everything but only my sun sign, ascendant and mercury sign. I was bored today and went online to search awhile abt this and see what i found:


http://www.starslikeyou.com.au/star-files/ascendant/virgo.php

This is my ascendant btw. The website will explain what ascendant means itself. And close friends of mine will understand that this is so true of me.(but not extreme okay) LOL.

i had a dream today. It left me in thought for awhile after i woke up. It isn't the first time that i am dreaming this and i know it will never ever happen in the reality. However, what is different about today's dream is that even while i was dreaming, i knew it isn't the reality. I thought i was acting in a show etc etc.

I have not understood fully Freud's dream theory, about how dreams can reveal your unconscious desires and so on. Thus, i shall not over-analyse the dream but to handle it in simpler and superficial terms. Things and thoughts have changed over the months and i guess dreams change with the flow as well. Perhaps, one day, i will never get to encounter such kind of dreams anymore....well i hope.

谢谢你的温柔。

I can't imagine how i will feel and survive 1 year plus later. and i cant stop myself from worrying about that now and then. paronoid, coward but yes. Since i cant seem to find enough courage to progress further, perhaps it might be better for you to move on, without a coward like me.