rah i cant stop blogging on this blog these days.
losing control of what i shld say here but i guess i cant stop it halfway whenever i decided to be truthful.

i guess what someone said is right.
for us right now, it is not a matter of getting over it yet, but getting used to it.When you're used to something, you're not over it. You've just buried the feelings somewhere deep.

never a good thing but that is what we can do now.
since no matter how hard i tried, i cant solve the problem solely by myself.

just keep thinking of A levels think of prelims..mug mug and mug( okay i doubt i will do that:P)
perhaps then i will find some peace.


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i can't wait forever.

sometimes, i really feel disappointed at how weak a person i am.
how vulnerable is my heart.
how easy it is for me to commit
how hard it is for me to forget
how painful it is for me to let go

i realise all these are due to my own doings and thinkings.
thus i shldnt blame anyone,or any kind of situation.
i am just not strong enough to handle my fate.

so, i choose not to hate.
for hating, is just telling others you are not accepting the truth and reality.

no matter what my fate is, i need to learn to forgive and move on.

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i am still waiting.

rah i need to learn to love my homework-nods-



please tell me i am not holding on to something that is worth nothing to you.

For already dunno how many million times,
i feel like giving up.
perhaps you never wanted this forever.
tell me, so why and what am i waiting for?


and why i am still trying so hard to make myself believe.

just some random rants.

i am quite tired today, since i spent the whole of last night working on the organic chem mind map.
but yeah i need to finish whatever i planned to do today before i can sleeeeep. gambateh!(:

btw, happy belated birthday jingying(:

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please don't walk away.
And please tell me you will stay...

this is the forth song that i posted here from this album. for those who are sick of very lovely dovey songs can try listening to this album. it talks more about life i guess.


我心中尚未崩坏的地方 -五月天
作词：阿信 作曲：五月天

醒在陌生的地方 镜头变成了刀枪
耳语也变成了真相
吉他告别了肩膀 诗人弃守了边疆
我们活在巨大片厂
幸运的孩子 爬上了殿堂
成果代价都要品尝
单纯的孩子 是否变了样
跟著游戏规则 学著成长

轰轰烈烈的排行 沸沸扬扬的颁奖
跟著节奏我常迷惘
当人心变成市场 当市场变成战场
战场埋葬多少理想
回想著理想 微薄的希望
走著钢索我的刚强
伟大和伪装 灰尘或辉煌
那是一线之隔 或是一线曙光

[chorus]
每个孤独天亮 我都一个人唱
默默的让著旋律 和我心交响
就算会有一天 没人与我合唱
至少在我的心中 还有个尚未崩坏的地方

歌手追逐销售量 记者追逐点击量
没有谁比谁更善良
无论天后或天王 无论小兵或老将
曲终人散都要苍凉
期待著彩虹 所以开了窗
窗外只有灼热闪光
所谓的彩虹 不过就是光
只要心还透明 就能折射希望

[chorus]

其实我们都一模一样
无名却充满了莫名渴望
一生等一次 发光
宁愿重伤也不愿悲伤
让伤痕变成了我的徽章
刺在我心脏 永远不忘

默默让著旋律 和我心交响
至少在我的心中 自己为自己鼓掌

每个孤独天亮 我都一个人唱
默默的让著旋律 和我心交响
就算会有一天 没人与我合唱
至少在我的心中 还有个尚未崩坏的地方

孩子一样 不肯腐烂的土壤
再唱再唱再唱再唱再唱

------------------------
当人心变成市场 当市场变成战场 战场埋葬多少理想

CT2 WERE FINALLY OVER! i doubt i did well, but for some topics i really tried, so let's just leave it to fate. even though cts were over, i cannot allow myself to slack too much mans. A levels is nearing and i gotta get prepared for my prelims too -nods-

okay i shan't not talk about studies anymore! this is a photo post( yes blogger finally uploaded my pics), i shall let the photos do the talking(:

Firstly these are the pics taken during pearl's birthday at amk steamboat resturant. yes we ate steamboat and i craving for it again. oops:P

me, xilei and eliz

we ate alot of meat that day. thanks to pearl for taking so many plates.LOL.

this is the second benzene trip to celebrate end of CTs. lols. camwhored until siao. here are just a very small portion of it.

Glen kena eaten!

all of us when we were young:P hopefully you can be able to identify all of us inside. lols

the MEN

the LADIES!

2 LADIES.HAHAHA:P

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everything will be alright.i will be right here by your side.

zzz i can't upload pics again. haiz

i did this test again. lols. hmm i realise there are some changes in my results ( the type of bf, readiness to commit and the right job for me), but i guess people do change. Hopefully it is a positive change(:

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i think blogger got abit of problem today. i cant upload pictures. thus, i shall blog about pearl's birthday dinner tmr(: once again, happy belated birthday pearl!

anw, i realise besides 夠愛, they also composed and sang this very nice song too. i think i will follow up with them if they ever release an album!




淚了-曾沛慈 + 東城衞

詞曲:東城衞

天快亮了
能不能別離開呢
沉默像首悲傷的歌
捂上視線卻模糊了

你要走了
也帶走所有快樂
甜蜜的片段散落了
疲倦了心冷了我哭了

那流星閃過
我們許下一個願望
要在一起 絕不分離
你怎麼放棄了

星空在閃爍
像你的眼淚 悄悄劃過
當你放開了手 離開的時候
有沒有一點捨不得我

淚光在閃爍
而我的眼淚忍住 不敢墜落
我還留在黑暗中守候
你卻已經遠遠離開我

離開我了
夢醒了還剩什麼
我要的幸福消失了
你的心曾經屬於我的

有過的快樂
我都記得
回憶還旋轉著
愛怎麼停了
我們都累了

too bad i can't find the full song:x



你還有個我 (DSA 公益主題歌）
詞 ：小寒
曲／編：黃韻仁
製作 ：黃韻仁／林倛玉


要是記憶曾有什麼傷痛
是人心中 不夠體諒與溝通
懷中單純的你與眾不同
我的笑容 就是你整片天空
地球快速轉動 一刻不放鬆
或許在此刻最適合你我相逢
人越奮力掌控 越隕落了夢
別難過聽我說 在這一秒鐘

你還有個我 永遠在左右
陪你用眼淚灌溉出花朵
你還有個我 聽懂你脈搏
同步感受生命起落
你值得我為了你這麼做

是你讓我明白七色彩虹
一星期中 總有藍色的寒風
不怕世界對著我們嘲弄
緊緊相擁 翅膀就不再沉重

感謝你的愛給我這麼多 你還有我

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感謝你的愛給我這麼多

it is good to rant, to vent out whatever you need to.

but i suck at expressing myself. even at this very moment, i find it difficult to phrase these opinions into words which i really want you to understand.

that is why i only know how to cry, coz everything explodes inside.

and i know it is super unhealthy, thus i am trying to vent it out and be a much more normal person , like what i am doing now.

i don't know if anyone can fully understand what i am really trying to convey. it will be quite saddening if no one do coz i spent damn long trying to phrase them out, yet at the same time i will accept the reality lah.

i have said before, i will try to overcome this flaw. yeah i will, i will always try to make an effort to keep to my own promises. but i guess i am just tired, just this moment. tired of the consistent struggles, tired of being so introvert coz i dno how to say whatever i wanna say, tired for the many things which i can never seem to express them out and get the correct message across..

rah i duno what to say alr lar, even though i think i still have tons of emotions and thoughts not being expressed out yet.

but nvm bah, i guess after cooling down, i will be back normal and continuing on this journey:
tired, but like i always believe, hang on.

OMG FINALLY. my internet connection is BACK(:

i know i shouldnt come here now coz i shld be studying for my CTs next week. But, i am glad i dint slack so much this time compared to what i did for my previous exams preparation. well, i guess it was a good start to begin with to see a little improvement in myself to change for the better(: i shall persevere and push myself harder gradually manns.

In addition, i know it is rather late but i FINALLY start to be more focused during lectures and tutorials. i duno if this is just a sudden surge in motivation to study, but i do hope i can make it a good habit.( even though i am still very tempted to pon certain lessons..:P)

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believe everything will be alright.
believe, be patient, be strong.